In the Middle Ages, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave Italy. Naturally, the Jewish community strongly opposed the decision. The Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, they could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would […]
Category: Stories
The Dead Miser
A hard-working miserly man had accumulated millions of dollars in his old age. Just before he died he commanded his wife, “When I die, I want you to put all my money in the casket with me. I want to take it to the afterlife with me.” He got his wife to promise him, with […]
Taking the Lord’s Name in Vain
A nun walks into her Mother Superior’s office and drops into a chair. She lets out a heavy, frustrated sigh. “What troubles you, Sister?” inquired the Mother Superior, “I thought you spent today with your family.” “I did,” sighed the Sister, “And played golf with my brother. I’m sure you remember that before I joined […]
The Stuttering Salesman
A man came into a shop to ask about a ‘Salesman Wanted’ sign in its window. He went to the owner and said, “I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j-joooob-b.” Compassionately, the owner replied, “I don’t know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment.” “I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed […]
Phone Repair
A housewife called the local phone company to report that her telephone wasn’t ringing when her friends called. On the few occasions it did ring, she noted her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The phone technician visited the scene, curious about whether it was a psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed […]
Muslim Heaven
An Arab terrorist died and went to heaven. George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!” Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!” James […]
Little League Coach
In the middle of a game, a little league coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside. After he got his attention, he asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?” The little boy nodded yes. “Do you understand that us winning or losing together as a team is more important […]
Juggler Pulled Over
A police officer pulled a car over and asked the driver why he was speeding. The driver said he was a juggler on his way to the circus and didn’t want to be late. The officer said he was fascinated by juggling and offered a reprieve from the ticket if he could do a juggling […]
How God Created Woman
One day, after what felt like an eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam called out to God. “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?” God replied. “Lord, I know you created me, have provided for me, and surrounded me with this beautiful garden, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Adam?” […]
Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven
Forrest Gump died and went to Heaven. Saint Peter met him at the Pearly Gates. Peter said, “Well, Forrest, it’s good to see you! We’ve heard a lot about you. Unfortunately, the logistics of getting everyone a place is causing too much administrative burden on our bureau angels, so we’re trying to slow down the […]
Finland vs. Soviet Union
It is 1939, and a Soviet army is marching on Finland. As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill; “One Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!” The Soviet general laughs, as he sends 10 men on the hill to capture it. There is gunfire for a minute and […]