Be Prepared - Real-People LOL

The internet can be funny, but not all funny things can go far enough to improve your social skills.

Here’s a thought experiment. Please explain the following to a friend near you, but without using a computer:

Now, if you still have that friend, and that friend is not a fan of Star Trek, try explaining this one to them:

Now that you’ve lost a few friends, I’ll let you in on a little secret, since we’re still friends.

PHOTOS ARE HARD TO USE WITH WORDS!

I know it’s a shock. I mean, some people said a picture is worth a thousand words, but I can tell you from hard-earned experience that the exchange rate has only increased ever since our ancient ancestors started ramming punch cards into vacuum tube boxes.

Those were simpler times, and now, adjusted for inflation, a picture is worth at least 10,129.59 words to achieve the same results.

This doesn’t bode well for you, the introvert reader who has had the patience to read up to this point.

That’s what this website is for. It’s a compilation of humor aimed at things applicable to meatspace.

For the sake of being cool, I aim to lean away from several things:

Stuff that’s highly contextual – try explaining a Walking Dead joke to someone who hasn’t seen the show, then try to look cool after that.
Trendy things – remember those really funny Kardashian jokes or O.J. Simpson jokes? Yeah, nobody else cares either.
Vulgar humor – base and violent jokes are easy, but can also easily offend and aren’t good for mixed company, so we’ll avoid the swearing and Aristocrats jokes here.
Shaggy dog stories – One time I had a pet parrot named Larynx I got from my dead sister-in-law’s cousin. Despite his odd name, he told the time accurately. This was fine, but most of my wife’s family except Tim has ADD, so the bird was trained to squawk out each minute along with each hour. It was torture. One day, my best friend’s hunting dog named Throat was with my best friend Mike, visiting for a cup of tea after a long day at the swimming pool. Unfortunately, true to form, the bird squawked out “It’s five-thirty eight!” In a flash, Throat was on Larynx and she killed him instantly. However, I wasn’t mad at Mike. I told him, “Geez, thank you! That was torture! I’ve been waiting forever for the end to come!”
Unfunny jokes – Some people say humor is all relative, and I’d say you’re relatively likely to be the punchline to others’ humor.

And, for the sake of being edgy, I am totally including some things no matter how offended your pretty little sensibilities get:

Jokes at others’ expense – humor needs pain, and that often involves dumb people, and you can always swap out a blonde for a Polish or liberal or luddite if you feel like it.
Dated jokes that still work – you can find/replace most humor: one day it’s the Japs, the next it’s the commies, someday it’s the robots.

The Index Of Everything Here

Keep this around as as reference to be the life of the party everywhere:

Social gatherings with beer!
Social gatherings without beer!
Corporate board meetings!
Bar Mitzvahs!
Funerals!

The language scope of the joke:

The subject matter: