A businessman tells his friend his company is looking for a new accountant.
His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?”
The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”
A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had six months to live.
“Oh, no!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”
“Marry an auditor,” suggested the doctor.
“Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”
“No,” replied the doctor. “But it will seem longer.”